Thursday, May 30, 2013

THIS CAN BE HARD!

Below is the map of my walk today. I have posted before about working on going for more walks even though I can't do what I used to but it has proven to be an ongoing challenge and I have not been as successful as I would have liked over the last few weeks.

My Mom is going through grueling and often painful physical therapy sessions following her recent knee replacement. After I got back from my walk today, I told her that I felt as though going for a walk is, for me, a lot like physical therapy is for her. It's hard, often painful, and I don't want to do it!

This can be hard! We all know this. It's easy to give in and not get out there and do my walk. It's as much a mental battle as it is a physical one. I know I allow myself to give in more than I should. I don't feel good today, it's too hot, it's too cold, it's too windy, I had a bad night, I'm just too tired. If there's an excuse, I've used it. Problem is, they are all also true. It is very hard for me, and I am sure many of you as well, to go for a walk and when I am tired from a bad night, pushing myself to do it is a real challenge. Weather impacts my ability to walk as well. Too cold and my pain goes up. Too windy and it's like trying to walk up a hill the entire time. So, while these "excuses" seem lame, even to me, they are also legitimate issues that impact my desire to get up and go.

This is the ongoing challenge each and every day. Today I did it. I was able to be positive, push through it. It was not easy. My bladder was screaming at me the whole way. I had catheterized myself right before going out, but it still felt like I had to go. When I got home, I catheterized myself again and there was just the tiniest amount of urine in my bladder, so I didn't REALLY have to go; but the pain was there the whole time. I am glad I got out early as our weather is deteriorating and it's extremely windy now and that's likely what is going to bring the rain that is forecast for today. 

I guess it's going to be a work in progress like much of the challenges all IC patients face. But I am not throwing in the towel. I plan to keep plugging away. I need to work on more positive self-talk and remember why I should try. But try I will.

Yes, this can be hard! But it's worth the effort. Today I did it. That's a good thing!

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