Denying the reality doesn't do any good. I like to know things. I like to plan. I'm a planner. I want answers. I want a deadline. I'm not getting one. For me, not knowing makes the fear worse. So how do I deal with that?
I think, in part, it's about focusing on what I love. Spending time with family and friends I love. Finding a way to DO anything at all that I love; that gives me happiness and joy. Sitting outside on the deck with my Mom one day last week was glorious! The sun shining, watching the birds and seeing the very tiny signs of Spring trying to sprout forth. I loved it. Today I sat in my office and just spent some time looking out the window enjoying the beauty of nature right outside my own home. It made me smile.
This is a work in progress. I doubt I'll master it, but I will work on it. This quote resonated with me and my niece will love it too. But I feel it is also true. I wish I had never gotten sick, but there is nothing to be done about that. So in the meantime, what do I do with the time given to me? Make the most of it. That, I guess, is how I will find a way of facing my fears.