Thursday, September 12, 2013


Ever feel like you are going along, managing all the struggles of your IC and anything else you might be dealing with as well? Getting through each day, one step at a time. I know I work hard to cope with all my health issues. Heck, I write about it on here frequently. I use various coping techniques to try to deal with all my challenges. I get up, I make an effort, and I put everything I have into not allowing my IC and all the other medical issues get me down. 

Even when I am hit with setbacks, often - I think - I deal with them in stride. I may not be happy about a setback; I may even be rather disappointed and feel a bit down when those things happen. But generally I feel like I'm doing a pretty good job of handling things.

So why is it always the little things that seem to turn me into a puddle of mush? Problems like I wrote about with my instillation medications exploding on me last week and I fall apart. Knocking over my lunch smoothie - which by the way makes a HUGE mess and can stain everything it touches - and I start crying "over spilled milk" as they say. Knocking over the newly filled bird feeder in the garage and making a huge mess not to mention basically putting out engraved invitations for the mice to come on in. We have a mouse problem living out here in the prairie, so when I did this all I could think about when it happened, while my parents are out of town, is I just made a huge mess and we'll probably have mice in the basement the next day.We have traps in the garage & basement to try to manage this, but they still get in.  But instead of mice, one of our cute little Chipmunks got nailed by a trap and died. Cried over that. Silly. If it were a mouse, no problem. But a cute little Chipmunk and I get all sentimental and teary.

Problems with my electronics will really set me over the edge. This is my way of being in touch with the world so if they don't work I am not a happy camper. Yesterday it was my iPhone acting up. It's still not fixed and the house phone wasn't working right either. I wanted to throw them across the room - to my credit, I did not. But after being sent on a wild goose chase by AT&T to the store where I bought my phone, I get there only to find out I have to go to the Apple Store instead. I just walked out in tears. I'm sure they think I'm a crazy woman. I didn't make a scene or anything. I just welled up and walked out. The nearest Apple Store is too far for me to drive, my parents are out of town until Saturday and my cell phone isn't working. Not happy. My wonderful neighbor has come to my rescue and will drive me to the Apple store today. I am blessed to have family and friends that are so helpful, understanding and do so much to help me.

It's been a week of a Whole Pile of Little Things, one on top of the other. Each one all by itself generally not enough to upset me (well, most days), but when it feels like a pile on, it just gets harder to keep it together. 

It bothers me that I let these things get to me. I want to work on this more. I'll talk about this with my therapist at my next appointment. I want to get better at not letting the little things drive me over the edge. So many days I almost feel like two people. I'll be laughing and happy one minute, then something will happen and I burst into tears. It's disconcerting. I think part of the issue is that I use so much emotional energy on coping with my IC and health issues, that when something like all these littler issues happen, I have nothing left in the tank and I don't cope with them like I should.

I'm sure I'm not the only one this happens to; heavens I hope not. But some days I just feel like I have it totally together and then other days clearly more therapy is needed. 

This past week, it was A Whole Pile of Little Things and I let them get to me. Well, as Scarlett O'Hara always said, tomorrow is another day; and I can start over and try again. It's a work in progress that clearly needs more work! 

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